Providing PMDD Support. How Can I Help?
A tragic yet real statistic regarding Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder is that ‘a staggering 30% of women with PMDD attempt suicide.’ Whilst, this alone is deeply upsetting, the statistic above does not consider the vast number of women who struggle with suicidal ideation as a result of their PMDD symptoms. PMDD is an all-encompassing disorder, impacting those that suffer from it and their loved ones, holistically.
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Upon my diagnosis, I had never even heard of PMDD and felt entirely isolated as my life had been taken over by this disorder that there seemed to be so little information on, online. Despite there being an increased amount of research done and women opening up to share their experiences with PMDD within the media, so many menstruators are left to suffer in silence, without a diagnosis.
I am so fortunate that I have a loving and understanding support system around me, who have gone above and beyond in attempting to understand my disorder. However, I am painfully aware that not all PMDD sufferers are quite so lucky so I have compiled a list of 3 things I wish not only I had known, but my loved ones were aware of too so that the diagnosis would have felt significantly less isolating.
1. Read, Research and Revise.
The clue is in the title for my first suggestion. The more you can deepen your understanding of the disorder and all that PMDD entails, the better placed you are to be able to provide relevant, helpful and informative support. Utilize the NHS, Wellbeing of Women and International Association for Premenstrual disorders websites to widen your knowledge of the causes and symptoms. As well as exploring social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram, upon which hundreds of women share their personal experiences with PMDD. The more you read, the more you will relate.
2. Communicate and Connect.
PMDD can make the individual suffering from the disorder feel extremely isolated due to the intensity of the psychological and physical symptoms. In order to prevent this feeling of complete isolation and loneliness, I have found it best to keep an open stream of communication with my loved ones, even when my PMDD symptoms take over.
I interviewed fellow PMDD sufferer, Jessie Jones on the importance of open communication during the luteal phase of a menstruator with PMDD. I first encountered Jessie when a video she posted came up on my For You Page on TikTok about her PMDD. Jessie stated that “I’ve never felt more alone than when I was first diagnosed with PMDD, I closed off completely and became unreachable to my friends and family which inevitably only made my mental health worse.”
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She continued, “Now, even when I have days where I am unable to get out of bed to wash or brush my teeth, I call my mum and drop a standard message to most of my friends to keep everyone in the loop. It sounds so self-explanatory but if people don’t know you’re suffering, they can’t help.”
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This leads me on to my second point, connecting. I have always been fortunate enough to have a loving and understanding support system, like I previously mentioned, yet even despite this I recall STILL feeling isolated as I had never heard of the disorder, nor met anyone who suffered from it like me. The more I searched PMDD into my social networking apps and the more people I found like me, the less isolated I felt. PMDD and Me aims to bring people with PMDD, or those who know someone with the disorder, to spread awareness and continue the conversation surrounding menstruation disorders.
3. Be Patient, Kind and Gentle with Yourself.
My final piece of advice would be to be, as the title suggests, be patient, kind and gentle with yourself. PMDD is unfortunately an unfixable disorder. Even with treatment, both chemical and herbal remedies and therapy, that are utilised to minimise the symptoms. Those who are impacted by the disorder, may always be to a certain extent.
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So, on the days you feel unable to shower, use baby wipes. When you can’t wash your hair, use dry shampoo. When you’re unable to brush your teeth, swig some mouth wash. You should do whatever makes your luteal phase the most bearable and attempt to remove the pressure from yourself. Some days your PMDD symptoms will mean that all you have the capacity to do is survive and that is okay. The more patient, kind and gentle you are with yourself on the days your PMDD symptoms are overwhelming, the less insufferable your luteal phase will feel.